Guys, I am struggling. Before I got pregnant I had all of these ideas about what kind of pregnant lady I would be: a healthy eating exercising kind. I figured I could keep up my gym routine and hopefully keep my weight gain to 30 pounds. I was scared of gaining more than that. Well, I am learning now that you can make all of the plans you want, but your body is going to do what your body is going to do.
My dreams of healthy eating quickly went out the window when I was so sick from weeks 6-18 and couldn’t stand even the sight of a vegetable. My dreams of keeping up my gym routine went around the same time, when I was nauseous and falling asleep on the couch around 8pm every night. It was all I could do to make it through the work day and home to my new favourite spot on the couch. My husband had to cook all of my meals. I was barely functioning!
It’s been better lately, I have been getting out for walks with my husband and Leroy, but still haven’t made it to the gym. I’m back on vegetables, thank god, and have been having a big salad for lunch every day. I’m trying very hard to cut out all of the fatty, carby things I have been eating daily, but it’s hard! I have almost no self-control.
Anyhow, the point of all of this is that I have gained way more by 21 weeks than I was intending. When I went to buy some new clothes on Friday, I actually cried in the dressing room. I’ve never seen my body like this, and even though I know it’s ridiculous because it’s for such an awesome reason, I couldn’t help but feeling bad about myself. I just feel fat. Again, I realize this is insane, I am growing a baby after all! I think it’s just hard to adjust to the new you, even if it’s temporary. My mom and sister were super supportive when I called in tears over this, but were quick to tell me how silly I was being. I realized that pretty quickly. I’m just not entirely sure how to snap out of this funk…
My “cure” for these feelings? I’ve decided that I need to spend a little bit more time, money, and effort to make myself feel pretty. It’s really important that I feel good about myself, not just for the next four months, but beyond that too. On that shopping trip on Friday I bought myself two new shirts that look really pretty, and tonight I am going shopping for a dress to wear to a Christmas party next weekend. I’m also going to replenish my MAC makeup supply. I also got my hair cut on Saturday and plan to keep up the look because I like it so much! I’m hoping that these things will boost my self-confidence about my new body, the one that’s going to continue to change shape for oh I don’t know, the next 2 years?
Oh, and I am signing up for prenatal yoga and making an effort to get out for more walks, and hopefully a few trips to the gym in my near future, not so I can gain less weight, but so I can feel better about myself too.
I just have to have faith that my body is doing what it needs to do, and enjoy the ride…